Savvy Commentary #2: Paradise in Flames, Chapter 1
Before writing Paradise in Flames , I had written and closeted a YA fantasy novel four years before. So, it's no surprise that chapter one started out a little rusty. The plot points in it were pretty spot-on for a first attempt, if I may say so myself. I introduced Lily as a sheltered Catholic girl who was having her first experience with public education. Then, I introduced her eventual love interest and rival, Blake. Unfortunately, the prose was way too florid and that was something I personally took issue with. But upon taking this chapter to my critique group, they also found that my story started in the wrong place and that Lily's character was somehow too sweet, bubbly and cutesy. I took the suggestion to move the starting place of the chapter. Originally, it started with Lily getting a pep talk from her mother before being dropped off at school. She witnessed Blake in a fight in the school quad and immediately internalized a gut hatred for him. Then Lily met up with...